


Mr. Noodle

by theweddingofthefoxes



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M, Modern AU, Serious fluff, Snakes, mentioned past trauma, this is only rated teen because of language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 00:39:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13423020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theweddingofthefoxes/pseuds/theweddingofthefoxes
Summary: Techie brings home a surprise that Matt isn't sure he likes -- but if it's important to Techie, it's important to him, too.





	Mr. Noodle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [multipurposetoolguy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/multipurposetoolguy/gifts).



It might be easier to count the number of things that Techie wasn't afraid of -- at least to some degree -- than what he was. He was petrified of heights, bad weather, and loud noises. Somehow, he was afraid of both open spaces and closed ones. Roller coasters, airplanes and fire all made him anxious, too, and so did Murphy beds and Tony the Tiger ("He's so aggressive! What does he want?"). 

But there was not an animal on Earth, not counting cartoon animals, that Techie had any fear of. It absolutely boggled Matt's mind. Techie was happy to pick up a spider or a beetle and escort it outside, and he cooed over mice and rats at the pet store, all things that made Matt's skin crawl. They went to the zoo once, one that had a sort of barnyard petting area in the center, and Techie had been delighted to get licked and nibbled and leapt on by the goats and rabbits and piglets. Even the llamas liked him, and offered their heads for Techie to pet before hacking up a big wad of spit directly on Matt's shoes. 

"You're like Eliza Thornberry," Matt had told them as they headed back towards the entrance. 

"Animals don't have any malicious intentions," Techie answered, already eyeing the gift shop. Matt knew him well enough to know he'd want something sweet before they left. 

"Oh, that's bullshit," Matt laughed. "Come on, animals have malicious intentions all the time! What if a shark eats you, or a snake bites you?"

"Mattie, that's not _malice_ ," Techie argued. They were inside the shop now, and Matt could see Techie's gaze drifting towards a display of chocolate bars shaped like zebras, white chocolate striped with milk. Or was it the other way around? "That's just how animals are."

"They _are_ malicious."

"Nooo...." Techie's voice drifted into a teasing whine. "They're just hungry, or scared, or need something. They don't hate anybody, or want to hurt anyone. They just want to make it out here."

Matt had to concede it was so, and he bought two of the zebra candies, one for each of them, not imagining those wouldn't be the only animals coming into the house that week. 

It happened on Wednesday. Matt was just getting back from his lunch break when a text message from Techie popped up on his phone. 

_Hey, I'm going to use the guest room for a project, okay?_

Their townhouse was a two-bedroom -- the master was the one they shared, and the smaller one was a sort of catchall with a desk and boxes and a futon in it. Since Techie worked from home, he sometimes used it as his office, but usually it was just used for storage. Matt texted back that that was fine, and didn't think a thing of it until he got home and didn't see Techie around anywhere. Strange -- usually Techie hopped right up to greet him the way a puppy did, but Matt just figured he was engrossed in something. 

"Babe?"

"In here--I'll be out in a minute!" Techie's voice carried out from the guest room, and Matt used his toe to nudge it open a crack to properly say hello.

Techie was sitting on the floor, holding a snake the color of an old penny in both of his hands. Matt wasn't sure how big it was, because the second he spotted it, he immediately slammed the door shut and headed back down the hall to their bedroom, breathing fast. After a few seconds, he could hear Techie coming in after him. 

"Matt, I'm sorry, I didn't want you to get freaked out..."

"It, uh, definitely surprised me." They'd never really discussed this, but Matt was not a fan of snakes. Matt didn't really like to admit he was afraid of _anything_ , but a snake in the house was going to test that policy for sure. "Were you ever going to mention to me that this was your project?"

"Yes, I just -- his owner just moved and couldn't take him to his new place, and he needed a home so badly, and I--I didn't want anything bad to happen to him..."

Matt sat up on the bed, looking into Techie's face, which was so serious and so moved, like the plight of this snake was the most important problem that he'd ever faced. Which, Matt guessed, it probably felt like to Techie. It wasn't like Techie was unfamiliar with the feeling of not having anywhere to go, and Techie had made it very clear over the years that he had had a hard time accepting anybody would feel affection towards someone like him. Like he was a reptile himself, something that most people would revile. 

"He came with all of the equipment," Techie went on. "I just had to go pick him up. Matt, he'll stay in the spare room and you'll never have to see him if you want to..."

Matt reached up and ruffled Techie's hair. "As long as his beady eyes aren't staring at me while I sleep, that's fine." He took Techie's arm and pulled him in for a kiss. "You were very nice to rescue him. What's his name?"

"Mr. Noodle."

"Mr. _Noodle_?"

"He came pre-named." Techie giggled. "He is a noodle, though. He's a sweet corn snake."

"I'll take your word for it."

Techie peppered Matt's forehead with kisses and then headed back off towards the guest room, where he spent the entire rest of the evening, holding the snake and chattering to it in a soft, comforting voice. As little as Matt actually wanted to have anything to do with it -- at least, not yet -- he kept hovering by the door, listening to what Techie had to say. 

"I'll make some more hiding spots for your tank so you can have your pick -- I like having options of things, maybe you do too..."

By dinnertime, Techie seemed content to leave Mr. Noodle to enjoy the privacy of his hiding spots and his big, newly moved tank. Knowing that Matt wasn't mad about his impulse decision had invigorated him, and he cheerfully set the table and fixed them drinks. "I told Mr. Noodle's old owner that I'd send him updates," he said, scooping a big helping of lasagna out of the dish. "I think that'll make him happy, you know? He's going to Sweden, of all places. Taking a snake to a new country just isn't practical..."

Besides their recent trip to the zoo, Matt hadn't seen Techie so bright and talkative in awhile. Despite his fear of the snake, he realized he was a little bit curious, too, and he found himself asking a lot of questions over dinner. How often did it need to eat? Did it need to be at a certain temperature? Did it have fangs? "He, Matt, he's a boy!" Techie laughed. 

"He, then. Mr. Noodle."

Where did Techie learn so much about snakes, anyway? Matt never knew he had so much information on them -- but of course, Matt had never asked. Then again, Techie was one of the smartest people Matt had ever met, and so it shouldn't be a surprise that he could pick up so much. Techie trailed off in the middle of saying something about shedding and smiled.

"What?" Matt wanted to know.

"You're staring at me like -- in a cute way. It made me self-conscious. But not in a bad way."

"Well, I was just thinking about how smart you are."

"Smart?"

"Babe, you know, like, everything on Earth about snakes, and I never even realized. You know everything about animals."

"Oh," Techie said, turning as red as the sauce on his plate. "Matt, no, I just--pay attention, especially to things I like. That's all."

"I think Mr. Noodle will appreciate it."

After the plates were cleared and the dishes put in the dishwasher, Matt settled down on the sofa, his feet tucked under him, as Techie went back upstairs to check on the snake one more time before they watched TV together. Nothing good was on -- Matt was flicking impatiently through the channels, wondering if he should just throw on a movie instead, when he heard Techie's wavering voice call down the steps. "Ma-attie?"

Something was definitely wrong -- Matt's first thought was that that snake had bitten him, even though Techie had just assured him a few minutes before that Mr. Noodle wasn't that kind of snake. He hopped up and tore up the stairs, stopping at the landing, where Techie stood, blocking his path. "He's out of his tank--they like to get out and explore, I didn't secure it well enough -- it's my fault..."

"Techie, no, honey--it--he can't have gotten far, right?"

"Oh, but what if he got into the heater or something?" Techie's sounded like he was on the very edge of tears, and Matt hugged him around the shoulders as he peered into the spare room. The enormous tank sat on the floor, one corner of the lid clearly popped free. Nothing else in the room appeared out of place. 

"There are lots of boxes in here, babe, I bet he just, uh....like, slithered into one of them." Matt took a deep breath, knowing that he'd recoil once he actually found the damn thing, but he'd just have to prepare for it. "Let's look at each of them, one at a time, and we'll find Mr. Noodle in one of them."

But they didn't. They went through each box as methodically as they possibly could -- gentle enough to avoid crushing any small snakes. They opened up the closet and took everything out, all of the clothes and the vacuum and the suitcases they kept inside. Matt checked the old-fashioned heater, and under the desk and all of the drawers, and the snake was nowhere to be found. By the time they had completed the search and Matt was starting to run out of ideas, Techie really was crying.

"It's only the f-first day and I've already screwed up..."

"No, listen-- listen to me." Matt took his shoulders to face him, even though Techie had tucked his head down so his hair fell over his eyes. "You already love him, you already clearly want to do right by him. And he'll turn up, Tech, he'll get thirsty, right? So we can set out some water for him." He was talking out of his ass, based on all of the information Techie had given him over dinner, but it was critical that he offer some assurance. 

It took a long time for them both to fall asleep that night. Techie had a tendency to toss and turn even when he was happy and sleepy, and it was much worse now that he was so anxious about the snake's outcome. Matt lay still, but he couldn't nod off either, he was too worried for Techie's sake -- and maybe even the snake's a little bit, too. He was able to settle once it seemed as though Techie had finally gone still, but sleep wouldn't come.

_Tomorrow, I'll see if I can open the crawlspace in the spare room, maybe he got in there....I'll just reach back there and feel around and he'll be right there..._

He was so sure of it, it was like he had manifested it into reality somehow, like he was already there, grabbing the smooth, dry length of the missing Mr. Noodle...

It took him a moment.

_The snake is right h--_

Matt sat bolt upright in bed, and there was a soft _flumpf_ sound of something hitting the shag carpet below. "T-Tech-! Techie, get up right now, I just touched your snake, I just touched it, oh, fuck--"

"What? What?"

"It's on the floor! It touched me!"

Quick as a cat, Techie had turned on the lamp and run over to the other side of the bed, where the dark-copper snake was curled up between the legs of the side table, no doubt terrified to have caused such a stir. "Mr. Noodle," Techie sighed, scooping him up to his chest while Matt buried himself under the blankets, his vision swimming at the sudden light. "Mr. Noodle, you scared the living shit out of me....good thing Matt was there, huh?" His voice trailed off as he headed back into the spare room to secure the snake back into his tank.

For a few minutes, there was only silence, and Matt had nearly fallen asleep for real by the time Techie returned to flick off the light and snuggle up against Matt's back. "He likes you," Techie whispered, sounding as pleased as he had at dinner.

"Ugh."

"He does, you know."

"I can't believe I touched a snake."

"Me neither." A pause. "But you survived, Mattie."

"Barely, I tell you what."

Techie scooted closer, smooshed his face against Matt's back. "You were very brave."

"Was I, now?"

"That's what he told me."

"I think that's just what you think."

"That as well."

In the morning, Mr. Noodle would be just where he'd been left, happy and healthy after his adventure, when Techie went to check on him first thing. Then, Techie would return to his own safe space, his own source of warmth, Matt, who was still sound asleep, his bare back struck with freckles and moles, lovely and welcoming, perfect for someone like Techie to seek a bit of affection.

**Author's Note:**

> A (late) birthday gift for an absolute gem, multipurposetoolguy, who fills my life with joy and who is such a great Techienician friend! I hope he, and everyone else who reads, enjoys!


End file.
